| SMS Jokes |
Great Calculation: Only 20% boys have brains.
Rest have
Girlfriends |
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes. |
Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved'
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them |
Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome u r, it is not ur figure too... Beauty is the inner self, so change ur underwear daily. |
Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence
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I'm @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving. Urine sample was positive so I nicked the sample. they r now doin me 4 taking the piss |
REMEMBER: if u need a FUCK, u can always count on me bcoz F.U.C.K stands for FRIENDS U CAN KEEP. Fuck 4ever, & promise me that we FUCK till eternity! |
If you need advice, text me... If you need a friend, call me... If you need me, come to me... If you need money... ........... THE SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED! |
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute. |
CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this |
This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.
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I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream! |
Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac? |
There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant. |
Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?
Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV |
Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high. |
I'm a killer, i kill people for money, but you are my friend
I KILL YOU FOR FREE !! |
A baby fish asked her mother: Y can't we live on earth?
Mother Fish: Earth is not the place for FISH, it's made for selfish |
It's the sweetest thing to do. Do it the bed, on a sofa, in the bathroom or anywhere! U must never stop doing it. It's called Prayer! God bless ur naughty mind. |
There is a sign in the toilet of the sex change clinic. It reads: We may never piss this way again. |
What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love? Honey, I'm home! |
A chicken sandwidch walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here". |
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